Losing the Struggle

Romans 7:21
Revelation 2:12-17
Hebrews 4:12

I look forward to a time when I will not need to struggle so hard against sin. I found myself just recently saying something and realizing I should hold my tongue but unable to stop the words coming out of my mouth. I was on a roll, criticizing and complaining, aware that I should stop but not quite able to do so. My husband was very gracious in letting me express my frustrations but helping turn my thoughts in another direction-then fixing the problem for me the next morning, acting as my rescuer and defender. He dealt with the problem much better than I did, winning (at least from my perspective) the fight against sin which I had already lost and protecting me from losing it further. I wanted to do what was right but found sin instead. The fight against evil is not just out in the world, it is inside of me. We are accountable for situations like that, for the Lord knows our heart and knows when we think we can get away with sin by pretending our intentions were good and when we are in over our heads but still trying to do what is right. He knows when the individual denying Him under torture is no longer responsible for what he says and when the person needs hardly any convincing at all to commit a sin. He is not bound by external appearances; His sword is capable of reaching our deepest thoughts and judging us justly according to our actions AND our desires. Let this be both an encouragement and an exhortation for us: and encouragement that He knows when we are fighting to be faithful to Him but losing and an exhortation that we cannot hide our need for repentance for He knows even what we keep hidden from those around us.